So… I guess you could kind of sort of say, in a small way, that I\u2019m kind of hanging out with someone.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve not really written of it, or spoken of it, because, well, I haven\u2019t had to. It\u2019s strange, too, how I\u2019m pretty sure we are not really seeing each other, or dating. I mean, god no. But… but, well, he\u2019s incredible.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the baker. The baker I\u2019ve mentioned. I cannot do him justice on this blog, not really, you\u2019d just have to be there when I call him and tell him I\u2019m stopping by for a few minutes and he says, \u201cYou are? God, this is a great day\u201d and he\u2019s totally one hundred percent serious.<\/p>\n
We were at dinner last night, where of course I had to mention to him that I might not be capable of any more than what is happening right now, blah blah yadda yadda but finally we got off of that and we started discussing gender issues. i suppose this is the time to remember that he is 24 years old. 24. I have often said that I would rather date men who were 44 than 24. But he is a glorious 24, so wide open to his emotions, so ebullient and passionate without a trace of fear. He says things that coming from someone else would be ridiculous, but from him they make sense. You\u2019ve never met anyone more honest. Everything that comes from his mouth is inspired, truly- and not that it\u2019s all poetry, lord no, but the things he says come from a place that cannot be mocked.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s worked hard all of his… very few… adult years, and is the most dedicated, passionate person I\u2019ve met since I\u2019ve been here. And he notices everything. Absolutely everything. A lock of my hair falls down and it alters his reality. Just when I think he might be running out of kindness, of sweetness, of deeply meaningful compliments, I realize he\u2019s just warming up. So at dinner last night, we are talking about the differences between men and women in friendships. Which sent me on a tirade (that and two glasses of wine, now that I\u2019m back to being a lightweight) and I jumped on my \u201cit sucks that women are bred to be competitive and ugly with one another which means I don\u2019t have many women friends\u201d soapbox. And somewhere in there I was comfortable enough with him, this relative stranger, to talk about my own sexuality issues, how I have sometimes used certain attributes of my physicality to get what I\u2019ve wanted in life, and how tragic that is, but that there is a generation with whom that stuff works. Also, that I walk up to a table at the best restaurant in New York and businessman #1 actually pats my bum while businessman #2 asks me to run along and find him someone who can talk to him about wine.<\/p>\n
My baker fought me on it, saying that if my smile opened doors, my mind kept me in the room. And then he said, \u201cI am not a beautiful man, but that is not going to stop me. I\u2019m still going to make things happen. I\u2019m still going to go somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n
This was in the middle of a heated conversation, and the evening kept rolling right along. I mean, my baker looks like a baker. He looks like pastries are an option. He doesn\u2019t exactly have most of his hair.<\/p>\n
After dinner, we went and shot pool, which is clearly one of my favorite pastimes. We each won two games, with me sharking enough shots to rattle him just enough. He\u2019s a great pool player. He aims for about three seconds and then figures it will go in or not.<\/p>\n
Is he funny enough? Quick enough? Mature enough? My perfect match? No. None of these things. What he is, though, is the best man I\u2019ve ever met. When he\u2019s ten years older, if he can hang on to his purity, his goodness, and his terrific bank shot, he\u2019s going to be brilliant. Right now, he\u2019s an angel, an angel who cooks, and every day he gives me a leg up back towards my feelings of self-worth. Every day when I see him, I expect him to be less excited to see me, even if just incrementally. I expect his attentions to wander. I\u2019m sad that this is my expectation. It says so much that I wasn\u2019t even aware of. But every day he\u2019s only better, kinder, more giving to me. And beside himself if I have 5 minutes to give him.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to get used to this, and I will not mislead him. But right now it\u2019s so lovely. And eventually I\u2019m going to have to tell him he was wrong last night. He\u2019s the most beautiful man I\u2019ve met.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So… I guess you could kind of sort of say, in a small way, that I\u2019m kind of hanging out with someone. I\u2019ve not really written of it, or spoken of it, because, well, I haven\u2019t had to. It\u2019s strange, too, how I\u2019m pretty sure we are not really seeing each other, or dating. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/248","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=248"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/248\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}