Hopefully only one more day of waiting before I find out if my little life is going to be taking a new direction. Until then, I feel almost paralyzed with hope, and largely unable to write or talk about anything. It\u2019s hard to believe that something so good could happen to me, not because I don\u2019t deserve it, but because these things just don\u2019t happen very often.<\/p>\n
I have a good friend here who has seen some really tough times, but in the last week, she\u2019s 1)met an unbelievable terrific guy and 2) gotten the job offer of a lifetime. I\u2019m so happy for her I can barely contain myself. The sucky part is that I\u2019m also envious, in a way. I want these things to happen to me, too. So while I truly delight in the good things that happen to others, I can\u2019t help but wonder when the Fates are going to draw my number, when they might deliver on the gifts bestowed upon me when they stood \u2018round my cradle.<\/p>\n
And then I also wonder, did I already squander those gifts? And then I also know that these good things will only happen to me if I am able to stop desiring them. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place: I want more from my life, but I feel selfish asking. I feel that every time I go looking for something, it becomes that much more elusive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hopefully only one more day of waiting before I find out if my little life is going to be taking a new direction. Until then, I feel almost paralyzed with hope, and largely unable to write or talk about anything. It\u2019s hard to believe that something so good could happen to me, not because I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlwms.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}