Posted September 10th, 2003 by Michelle

Is it really stealing when you are able to connect to someone’s airport, say, at a coffee shop in Brooklyn, and they don’t have a password and so your built-in airport card allows you to check your email and post a blog? I mean, if they didn’t want you to use it, they would put a password on their account, right? I’m just sayin’.

I’ve just finished another chapter in my book. I find I can’t write for more than a couple of hours every day, at least, not yet. I haven’t had more than a couple of hours until this week, and I’ve not been able to train myself to sit still for that amount of time.

When I was up at the farm two weekends ago, one of the wonderful house guests was a Broadway playwright. I asked him about writing fiction, told him about my book, and asked if it was okay that I wasn’t sure how it was going to end. He said that some degree of mystery was good, but that I should quit writing every day only when there was a fresh, new, exciting idea to start with tomorrow. I’m writing about a weekend, and it is fictionalized fact, so I know where I’m going each day when I sit down to write. But the end is elusive to me, and I’m curious where both my life and this novel will take me.

My innards feel markedly better today, enough that I went to my first yoga class in weeks, and I’m hanging around the neighborhood in hopes of looking at a new apartment. It is near 5th Ave here in the Slope, a duplex with a backyard and two separate, private floors. Sounds pretty cool to me, if certain other parts of my life fall into place.

I’m ready, I feel, I’m ready for so many good things. This year has been humbling and hard, joyous and heartbreaking, and I’ve made some difficult decisions and recoveries, and I really feel like it’s time to turn a corner. I want to live an honest, present life, and I want to be treated with the same respect that I’m trying to give myself. That’s all. I’m ready to allow some good things to happen to me.