Posted October 13th, 2003 by Michelle

Weekends like these leave me weary but the opposite of sad. I can’t seem to stomach that happy is the opposite of sad- happy seems too active, too bright, while sad is passive and almost comforting- predictable, relatively stable, far from actual misery. This weekend did not leave me happy, persay, but it did leave me good.

I’m just home in my destroyed apartment. The boxes are gone but replaced with two huge stacks- one to go to California, one to find its way to the farmhouse. Tess asked me if my head was in California yet, but my head is nowhere but here, right now, still dealing with leaving, still curious and confused and wrapping around my next week and a half. Everything feels like a challenge, an obstacle, in a way, or maybe even a curiosity that is complicated enough to cause lost sleep.