Posted October 5th, 2003 by Michelle

Back in New York it is clear and cool. It’s truly fall here, with whispers of winter in the cold breeze. I just had brunch with Ian at Bistro Saint Marks which, as always, was great food and not-so-great service. The restaurant is a three-minute walk down my street and I know that the idea of that- of walking a few blocks in the morning sunshine to get a cup of coffee- is one thing I’ll miss while I’m in Napa.

My dad called earlier to ask if I felt I’d made the right decision, my decision to move to California. Yes, I answered, without hesitating. Yes, I’m really excited to start my new job at the winery. Yes, I’m excited to spend the winter writing. Yes, I’m excited to live near my dad for the first time in 18 years. Yes, I’ll miss my apartment and space and brothers and yes, yes, yes, I’ll miss my city. But I hope to make some great things happen for me in California. I hope to create a manuscript worth submitting to my editor friends. I hope to find some peace in the wine business, hope to find some satisfaction. I hope to be open to the things that could come my way. Do I feel completely secure, absolutely sure that I’m doing the right thing? No. Of course not. But I know I’m doing a good thing, and that is what matters.

I have three weeks to drink my city in, to see Central Park in fall, to walk Park Slope, to see the few people here who mean the world to me. I’m sad I’m leaving. But in a way, I also can’t wait to go.