Posted October 1st, 2003 by Michelle

I’m not sleeping very well. I’m out here exploring new possibilities for my life and I’m losing sleep over it. I needed a vacation, and what I’m getting is a whole world of possibility and it’s actually really stressful. I’m lost between being vastly thankful and really needing a nap.

It’s amazing, though. Every person I’ve talked to has been encouraging and kind, and just today, one of the heaviest hitters told me that with my experiece and talents, I should be able to pick and choose in this valley. I should be able to create work wherever I want to go. However, I am not ready to make any major commitment; I’m looking at this winter only, and I’m not remotely ready to stop writing or singing. There is opportunity for me out here, but I will not get involved with something that will take me away from my other passions. I will dive into anything that is an outlet for all of them. Or most of them. I don’t know. This week will tell me how soon I’ll be out here- by the end of the month, by Thanksgiving, by Christmas, by next Friday- I just don’t know. I feel able to roll with the punches but I’m also still… exhausted. By everything from my poor cat to my new awful job to the mere idea of moving.

I know my cold is related to my stress. But I think moving here, embracing this opportunity, is the best thing I could do to take care of myself. I just have to get from point A to point B.