thankful

Posted October 5th, 2006 by Michelle

I feel as though I’ve just come out from a haunted, dark, difficult maze, one that I’ve been mired in since mid-July, and I almost don’t trust the blue sky and fresh air. I’ve been coming home at night, and rather than feeling exhausted and desperate for escape, I’ve been feeling a sort of delicious restlessness, like I’m ready to expand my life. Like I’m ready to expand my life outside of work. Really, I should be feeling more stressed and more worried (and believe you me, oftentimes I do) but I get home and I’m not even tempted to check my work email. Weekends, I don’t even check it until late Sunday night, and then only to know what to expect Monday AM. It’s a strange freedom, and I’m so inspired to do good work, both at work, and then totally separately in the rest of my life. I guess it’s that I’ve not had a “rest of my life” for over two years, and suddenly, I’m giving myself permission to find it.

I had dinner with my dad and stepmom the other night, and after three hours of conversation and awesome seafood I got into my car and looked at my phone and a whole host of people I adore had called me, all essentially to say they adored me, too. And we got our first rainfall, and it washed Northern California clean. And my new work computer has a built-in iSight, which means I get to talk to my brother Sean face-to-face and also means I get to take pictures of Jordana’s belly.

Not that blogger will let me upload said pictures.

Regardless, I am grateful for many things.