Anniversary

Posted October 23rd, 2005 by Michelle

Two years ago today, I moved to the Napa Valley. Of all the strange leaps I’ve made in my life, this was strangest. At the time, I was poised to go to Africa in Peace Corps; two years earlier, I’d found my calling in relief work; one year earlier I’d spent the summer in the wilds of the American West on a 3-month trek through public lands as the team medic; two months earlier I’d quit my job of three years working at one of New York’s best restaurants. I moved out here as a wanna-be writer, wanna-be EMT, wanna-be wine geek, wanna-be Peace Corps volunteer, wanna-be disaster relief worker. I say wanna-be on all counts because I was no one thing fully. Two years later, I am none of these fully, all of them partly, just like when I came, except now I am a hundred more things than I never would have been had I not moved here. (A hundred things, good and bad, or neither, just different.)

My work here is some of the most exciting of my life, and exciting even more because of where it will take me. And I am thankful for so much- a laundry list of help, guidance, support, love, and challenges. Two years ago yesterday, as I slept my last night in my brownstone studio apartment in Brooklyn, New York, as I looked around at the bare walls and the two packed bags, I was terrified about the choice I’d made but I leapt, praying to all ye gods that a net would appear.

And so it did. It’s Sunday afternoon, Napa Valley fall, I have stock simmering on the stove and tomatoes from my garden waiting to become sauce. I’ve spent a few hours on a grant proposal, a few more hours on a major fundraising drive, I’m looking forward to a date with a puzzle, and I’m still in my pajamas. I was in the city last night with six dear friends, celebrating a birthday. I could say I’ve built a life here, but what’s really happened is I’ve rebuilt myself here. I am still discontented and frustrated and nuts and flawed and whatever, but I’m a hundred times more aware of the possibilities in my life, and next time I leap, it is going to be towards something, not away from something. And my, oh, my, am I excited for that leap.