Six Days

Posted April 25th, 2010 by Michelle

Jon and I were walking on the beach yesterday at about 5:45 PM, when we realized that exactly a week from that moment, we’d be in the process of getting married.  As in, we may be reciting our vows at that very time.  We were on the Boardwalk Beach, with about a grillion other people, with an additional grillion up on the Boardwalk itself, eating deep fried Twinkies and riding one of the oldest roller coasters in the country.  Little kids were running into the surf and then screaming and running back out.  And a brown pelican flew by – my favorite bird – as if to remind me to drink in every second of this glorious week.

It’s odd, because I was actually hit with a pang of loneliness as we were walking toward the beach.  Actually, loneliness isn’t the right word.  I was hit with a pang of isolation, because we could smell a dozen barbeques going and heard at least three or four parties as we walked over to the trellis bridge to the boardwalk, and I was missing our friends and family.  I mentioned this to Jon, how I was missing everyone and feeling isolated.  And then I immediately admitted how ridiculous that is, because the reason we have isolated ourselves is we have ten billion things to do to try to make a fantastic 3-day weekend for 90 of our closest friends and family.  It’s just that I can’t wait.  I can’t wait for everyone to be here, can’t wait for my mom to get here on Tuesday, can’t wait for Thursday night when most of the people who are dearest to me in the world will all be in the same place.

The silliest part?  I’m already a little bit sad that the weekend has to end.  That’s no way to approach this. But there is a melancholy about this whole wedding thing that I have yet to fully understand.  We are literally being showered with love, help, kindness, graciousness, and honestly, it’s difficult enough to feel worthy of Jon; this outpouring of support leaves me so humbled I almost can’t process it.

Back to the to-do list.