no, I won’t start posting about knitting

Posted January 7th, 2008 by Michelle

I know it wouldn’t be such a far leap from posting recipes, but no, this will never turn into a knitting blog. However, I should have taken some pics of the fifty or so cloth bags I made this Christmas to replace all of the wrapping paper. Ian and Tessa asked if we had creative ideas as to how to reduce waste this Christmas, and I came up with the idea of sewing cloth bags- large and small, and made of Christmassy material and pretty bows, that could be used again and again. It became my big pre-trip project, and then an ongoing project once I got to Queens, since my mom had a never-ending supply of gifts that needed bags. So Jordi and I sewed, and sewed, and sewed, me on my mom’s workhorse of a sewing machine, Jordi delicately by hand. I loved every minute of it, particularly mom’s insistence that every bag I made wasn’t quite big enough, and the joy of easily slipping the prezzies in each bag, proving her wrong, to her endless delight.

Anyway, all of those bags are in a plastic bin in the barn at the farmhouse in upstate New York, far far away from here. But we’ll get to break them out next year, and probably sew fifty more, since our family is ever-expanding. But as tempting as it may be, this will not become my “I totally love all crafts” blog. Except every now and then.

And, I made these cookies on Sunday:

http://www.joyofbaking.com/PeanutBlossomCookies.html

Double the salt; other than that, follow the recipe, and have neighbors knocking on your door to ask for second helpings. These cookies are truly amazing. I love baking.

What I really wanted to write about tonight is reconnections. I decided in early December that I was going to reconnect with a few dear people who I’d not talked to in ages. So from New York to San Francisco to Chicago to New Jersey, I reached out, beginning with an apology for being so terrible about being in touch, and ending with a promise to try to do better. Almost everyone welcomed my missives; one even called it “a hug from an old friend”. It meant the world to me to still have the friendship of all of these folks, and to have been blessed with their patience over the last couple of years as I’ve been working so hard to simply find out where in this world I belong. I’ve got a much better sense of that now, and, I think, much stronger friendship skills. At least, I hope so. I’m grateful for all my reconnections, those solicited, and those that have found me.

I don’t know if any of those dear friends read this blog, but it doesn’t matter; I’ve told them what it means to me to still have them in my life. It’s one of Ian’s skills I’ve always admired and envied: he holds on to people, no matter how far away, no matter how much time has passed. I’ve coasted through the states I’ve lived, hanging on to almost nobody, for a hundred reasons probably best left to my therapist. But I’m working to reverse that trend, because it’s not that I haven’t had terrific friendships. It’s that I didn’t know how to keep loving and trusting people when they weren’t right in front of me. But I think I can do that now.

If they lived near me, I’d bake for them. Alas, I’ll have to keep baking for my coworkers. But maybe someday.