Posted May 20th, 2003 by Michelle

Okay, yeah, so it’s been a ridiculously long time, but if you were living my life right now, you’d understand. To make up for it, I’m going to post the blogs I’ve written while on the road or away, most likely with typos and all. So here we go:

May 16

I’m sitting on a train with my dad and Carole, heading upstate to check out some restaurants for the rehearsal dinner. It’s been a long, strange week. The man I’ve been, well, sleeping with for seven months ha decided to call it quits. I applied to the Peace Corps. My dad has approached me with a buisiness proposition that is hard to refuse. My head is spinning.

I’m sad about the lover thing. He was barely more than that, so I am not heartbroken, but it is still… disheartening, I guess, since he was the first person I’ve spent any time with since my ex and I broke up. But it also wasn’t altogether good, so in the end, it is a really good thing that it is over. Pearls before swine, my whole romantic life has been, and at least this time I did not hang my heart out.

Peace Corps. Really excited about it. I’m already in phase 2- getting my references together, approving my backround check, narrowing down my skills and where I could best be put to use. My recruiter is a youngish-sounding man who I think is out of the office pretty often, as we have yet to connect on the phone. But it is even a good process for me, as it clarifies what it is I want to do.

The business proposition… I’ll talk about that more when I have more knowledge.

Beyond that, work, work, work. Little more in my life right now. My best friend in the whole wide world Anastasia is coming to town this week, which will be great, and she is also one who is a terrific ear when I dion’t know what to do. She’s coming at just the right time.

May 18th

So it is several days later and my long crazy week is only getting longer. Tess and i got up this morning at 5 to get me to the train on time to get me back to work in Manhattan. But the only train was a little too early and now I am sitting in University Diner (Restaurant? Who knows) typing away before my eggs benedict arrive. I have to have an expensive breakfast because you have to blow $10 here to use a credit card. Alas, I’ll have to follow it with pancakes.

I had a really lovely and way too short visit with my Dad- so many more things to talk about, so little time just the two of us. Wow. I wish I could go back to fifteen year old me and tell me that someday I would write that very sentence.

So why does it not freak me out to be away from the artistic world for over two years? Why does that feel totally okay except for when I stop and think it shouldn’t? The thing is, I can write. maybe I can even get a writing gig while over there, maybe with an online zine or something. I would be totally satisfied with that life. I think. Who am I kidding, I have no idea.

It’s a really pretty day. A woman just rode by, very slowly, with another woman on her handlebars. They both had red hair trailing down almost to the seat of the bike.

The last few days I’ve had a really hard time keeping it together. On and off, I just feel so overwhelmed and almost out of control.