Posted September 29th, 2003 by Michelle

Monday, September.. uh, well, it’s the last Monday in September. Leave me alone. I’ve had a few glasses of wine

I’m writing from St. Helena, California, and I spent the day helping with the “crush” of RW2 (rwsquared) 2003 cabernet. My father and Richard Walton have been making wine together for two years now, and I can’t imagine a better guy than, well, both Richards, who are incredibly different and compatible at the same time. The other Richard, the one I’m not related to, starts laughing when he wants to say something wry or funny, but he gets two words out, and then he has to stop and laugh. He also told me about a paddle trip he took with his daughter this summer. Seems I have a lot in common with both Richards.

I’ve all but made the decision to move here. I know this seems like it is coming from left field but, well, what an opportunity . I’ve already had one of five meetings where I’m talking to big people here in Napa, people in the wine business who are informed and connected and, so far, really kind and wonderful. The only pause I have right now is when. Next week? Next month? Should I wait out my lease even though at this point, I have no way to pay rent next month? I’m making less than $200 a week at my new job, and having to battle the crazies and the drunks and the excessively late hours. My mom wants me to never go back; I wish I didn’t have to.

I will need to go home and pack, and write, and play with the few people I care about back in NY. But I am ready for great change, and it can happen here.

I need to send cyber-kudos out to my dad, whose friends love him so much they are willing to open their arms to me even during the craziest time of the year- the picking and crush- and I am reminded that I am so, so lucky to have the family I do. Last night I was talking to a friend and he asked me how I maintain my level of self-confidence. I laughed, because it is something I certainly struggle with, but I told him that not only do I have a great degree of faith in myself, I also have this family. I have a mom who transcends momness- truly- there is nothing too small or enormous that she wouldn’t do if I needed it. My brothers who, each in their own way, remind me who I am. And my dad, someone who when I was thirteen I told I hated, when at fifteen was sure I would never really know, who when I was twenty listened and responded to the hardest questions and accusations a daughter could throw, and now that I am thirty one, has opened up his life to me.

I’m a lucky, lucky girl, just like my mom put in song, and now I need to make good on all the gifts given to me. I know I can do this.