Posted September 20th, 2003 by Michelle

I’m up later than you. And you, and you, and you. Ya’ll are wussies. Here I am, up at 5:20. posting a blog.

I can’t describe how strange my new job is. My manager gets so drunk by the end of the shift… so drunk that this time she ended up wearing some guy’s kilt (and he in her jeans) and then she accidentally ripped another guy’s shirt to shreds (him in the backround, not remotely happy, “This was my favorite shirt. I’m not kidding.”). And then she had to literally push the kilt guy out of the cab because she was going home to her husband. That girl draws a crowd. She is a master of what she does.

Me? Well, I hang out in the backround, finding the occasional really cool person to talk to. I know I’m not nearly wild enough. I can’t pretend.

NEWSFLASH… pretty sure I forgot to mention… MY CERVIX IS HEALTHY!!!! False alarm. Biopsy came back completely normal. The Peace Corps is suddenly an option again. I mentioned that the sickness of my innards was confusing to me because I believe most of that is psychosomatic. My three bad paps happened in late August, when I was miserable, foolishly, uselessly miserable, and since I’ve come to my senses, my cervix is suddenly healthy. I’m just sayin’. A friend asked me tonight at dinner if I felt heavy or light, and I said, light, light, light. My body is so exhausted that my mind is allowed to fly. I’ve jumped off the deep end and found the water to be sweet.

I had yet another failed “meeting” of a man. I’ll put it simply. I was trying to explain my brother Kent’s idea of “doing it wrong differently” and the guy was all, “Yeah, like, be an individual, don’t do it like other people are doing it, be yourself, like, yeah, wow!” And I tried to explain that no, it’s not about anyone else, it’s about you, and how if what you are doing feels sucky you should try it another way even if you don’t know it’s right and this guy said, “Yeah, you know, just be yourself, blah blah blah” ugh. No thank you.