Posted October 20th, 2003 by Michelle

Two more days. I’m grappling with overwhelming feelings of thankfulness, so much so that I barely know where to begin. I’m moving to California where my father and stepmother have opened up their home and life to me, where I have an instant support network when things get hard, where I will never go hungry, where, for at least a short time, I won’t have to worry about affording the very roof over my head.

I have my mom, who I’ve called several times between 2 and 5 AM because I know I can, who has talked me off a theoretical ledge more times than I can count, whose first impulse is to give and help and say yes.

Ian is showing up for the second time tomorrow to help me manage all of my stuff. And Sean, who is even *thinking* about taking me to the airport early Thursday morning, even though he has a show the night before, and one the night of, and that he will have to drive all the way to Brooklyn from Queens and then to JFK and then back to Queens. That he didn’t say, Seriously? You want me to do that AGAIN? Because he’s done that very trip so many times before.

I called the folks at my new job today, just to check in but really to find out when I will get my first paycheck (as I’m down to $19). “We were just talking about you!” the HR person exclaimed. “This Friday, right? You are still coming? We are so excited!”

So many people helping me, so many people believing in me, and while this is a lot of pressure in a way, it is also a confirmation of what I already know:

I will not let these people down.