The Bad Guys


Some time ago, I managed to get myself on an email list that serves only to debate politics. I was invited to join, and I knew who the members were, and against my better judgement, I accepted. However, I’ve only written once, and my inbox is littered with this listserve’s emails. The reason I cannot write is because a couple of people on the list TERRIFY me. They are so misguided, and so filled with indignant anger that usually belongs on the left. I actually get sad when I see their emails because I know that they contain vitriolic projective right-winged vomit rhetoric and I just can’t take it that they exist. I’m happy to debate with just about anyone, but there is no actual “debate” with these two. One of them suggested that the Pentagon was never attacked, that no plane on 9/11 ever came near, that it was a “wag the dog” scenario. He says the pictures of that and of the New York attacks were altered. I told him he belonged with the stupid f**king #()$&%#)$*#holes who believed the same thing of the Holocaust, and that they should all rot in (%&#$%&)#$ hell where they had only Hillary Clinton’s book to read for all eternity. And then I realized it was a lost cause and never wrote again. The second guy on this list, who I actually know quite well, once said, “Well, Africa’s totally fucked. We should just forget about them.” UUUUGGGHHGH!!! MMMMMFFFFFFF!!!!!????!? I can’t forking take it. I just can’t. I can’t breathe when I think about it.

But then, oh, but then, I saw a title on one of the Africa guy’s emails that inspired me to open it, even though I clicked the mouse with dread. The title was “Schedule at the Democratic Convention”. This is how it read:

Just found the schedule for the Dem. Convention in Boston…2004

Democratic Convention Schedule

6:00 p.m. – Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:00 p.m. – Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton

6:30 p.m. – Anti-war concert by Barbara Streisand.

6:40 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00 p.m. – Tribute theme to France.

7:10 p.m. – Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:25 p.m. – Tribute theme to Germany.

7:30 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:45 p.m. – Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:25 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30 p.m. – Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00 p.m. – Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)

9:25 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:30 p.m. – * Intermission *

10:00 p.m. – Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins

10:10 p.m. – Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.

10:20 p.m. – Cameo by ! Dean ‘Yeeearrrrrrrg!’

10:30 p.m. – Abortion demonstration by N.A.RA.L.

10:40 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50 p.m. – Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00 p.m. – Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).

11:15 p.m. – Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:30 p.m. – ‘Free Saddam’ pep rally

11:59 p.m. – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00 p.m. – Nomination of John Kerry.

I mean, what can you even say to this? Truthfully, some of it seems like a damn good time. But when I think about the spirit in which is was sent, well. I can hardly express how upset this makes me. Because look: abortion demonstration, something utterly tasteless and disgusting in a public arena, and then twenty minutes later, a gay marriage ceremony, something utterly wonderful and deserved in a public arena. This guy is equating aborting a fetus with marrying a gay couple. I’m a supporter, and indeed, a fan of both acts, but one belongs in a very private place, and the other should be shouted from the rooftops.

I won’t go on about the other horrendous implications in this “schedule”, because that one I think is the worst.

But you know what I want to do? I want to walk up to the guy who wrote this, the bigot, the hate-mongerer, the closed-minded, pathetic excuse for an American and slap him really hard in front of all his equally deluded and hateful friends.

*sigh*