1. Decent teeth

2. pre-90’s pop culture references

3. demonstration of knowledge of how to use a knife

Tonight at dinner, my date watched with fascination as I, apparently, adeptly ate my salad using BOTH implements available to me; he then tried to follow suit, but having never used this curious long piece of metal with one sharp side, he abandoned it and spent half an hour accidentally pushing lettuce off of his plate.  Had our conversation been compelling, I am quite sure I wouldn’t have noticed his ongoing salad battle, but it was truly the most interesting thing happening at our table.

I’m going to do my best to not allow knifely agility to decide whether or not to go on second dates.  But, well, it’s really not about the knife, is it?