August 16th

Hey, was Elvis born today?  Or something?

Anyway.  Today you are 10 1/2 weeks old.  Your dad-to-be has started to relax, despite himself, because how can you be nervous about something every waking minute?  He’s still nervous, but for the first time he’s started to feel my belly and get all gushy-eyed.  We saw you for the second time today, on the ultrasound.  Last time you were a tiny blip in my belly.  This time, you had a distinctive head, body, and – we think – an arm.  You were luxuriating on the bottom of my uterus, planning your future Presidential campaign.  Your crazy little heart is beating 163 times a minute.  That’s a lot, but not for a little baby.

I’m still super tired, but feel less exhausted this week, gratefully.  I’m nauseous about 90% of the day, but still haven’t actually thrown up, so for that, I thank you.  I’m taking a new yoga class from a woman who is in her second trimester and who is a bit cavalier about the yoga poses I can and cannot do.  “You’ll know if it feels wrong”, she says, so I’m blending that with what I’ve gleaned from every other yoga teacher (no holding your breath, no deep twists, no ab exercises on your belly, etc.)  I’m grateful to be somewhat back in my practice, and I hope you are enjoying it, too.

You should know that the summer I was pregnant with you was the coldest summer on record here in coastal California.  Tomatoes aren’t ripening, children aren’t getting sunburned.  Every day is socked in, and when it got sunny and hit 74 degrees yesterday, we walked outside, shed our coats, and wondered at the big round orange thing in the sky.

I’m overwhelmed when I think about the things I want and need to accomplish before you are born – everything from finding a temp ED to run my organization when I take a leave to finding a proper crib on Craigslist.  But mostly, I just want to lie around and daydream about what life might be like with you.  What kind of mother I’ll be.  Just how crazy that first month might be.  How I can make sure that you grow up near your cousins Lucy and Barnaby and Marlena.  At least, those are the cousins that will be closer to your age.  When you get around to hanging out with cousins Sean Patrick and Lucas, you’ll know you’ve really arrived.  You are going to adore all of them.  But I need to make sure you get to be near them all as often as possible.

Can’t wait to meet you.